so, as it goes right now, i don't want to kill myself, i still feel like doing it but, my friend Gabbie convinced me not to for now, so, essentially she saved my life, at least for now... but, yeah, i'm lonely and still miss the hell out of my friends that really matter and stuff, i'm hoping to hang out with Corinna soon to, maybe get her to meet my girlfriend Jess, idk, but as it stands now, i suppose things are a little better... i hope i get to see Gabbie really soon too, she one of the best people out there... i swear, idk what i would do without her... oh yeah, that's right, i'd prolly die... yeah, as you readers may have noticed, i don't have the greatest outlook on life, and i don't think it'll change very soon... so, idk what'll happen in the future, although, i suppose no ones knows other than the Fates... i've had practically everything bad that could happen to me, happen to me, so, i don't particularly like life or want to be in it anymore, but as i said, i was convinced by my dear friend Gabbie not to kill myself, at least for now... i just lost my dog that i've had for my whole life yesterday which hurt me pretty bad... i'm not sure what to do anymore in life... i'm really not... but for now, i guess i'm okay, and i'm open for suggestions on art or poems... just let me know

Hey, i recently checked my stuff, i only have like one person who viewed and liked my stuff so far, which sucks, but, i hope more people read and make comments and such... i just got my wisdom teeth taken out on Saturday ( 2/16/08 ), it hurts like hell, i hope a lot of people don't have to go through this, i miss my friends, i need to see them more... i'm getting more and more depressed each day, right now i have like no one to hang out with, i fuckin' miss everyone sooo bad... not being with people kills... not being with the one you love, kills even more... i don't know what to do... i have had thoughts of cutting and overdosing... not good, the only thing that has saved me is the one i love and some very close friends, and they could barely do it. Fear is a word that i almost never use upon myself, but, i am actually starting to have fear, it's not of anything like normal, usually people fear things like spiders, heights, or bullies... but, i fear myself, i am starting to fear myself, because of what i can do to others and myself. Sometimes i think that the world would be better without one such as me, and yet, other times, i'm not sure what to do at all. Should i try and do my best to do everything i can and risk the bad things that could happen to others, or should i just hide in a dark corner and die??? That is probably what plagues me the most, i don't know how to figure it out, but, i need to figure it out quick. I realize that no one probably reads this, but i need to vent and let out what i feel and what needs to be said. So, this is where i do it, this is where i feel comfortable to do it. Maybe someone will help me, maybe they won't... maybe i'll just be left here to rot, like a forgotten corpse or, maybe, just maybe... someone will find me and save me, and see something good in me, maybe they'll help me and it'll work out, but then again, maybe it won't... but for now, i will go, and leave you to your thoughts, if there is anyone actually reading this, maybe you can help me, 'cause i think i need it, and i don't know what to do... i'm open for messages and everything, if you want to call, i may give you my number if you don't already have it... but, i will end my rant for now and post some more later... maybe someone will save me by then or something... idk, ttyl if i can , when i can, or whatever happens... i'll try to post more... bye for now...

Well, i just started a DA account, not sure what to put up yet, but i will figure out something, maybe some poems or something, if anyone has any ideas, i am open to them thanks